Cruise Ship Joke

DEAR DIARY - DAY 1

All packed for the cruise ship -- all my nicest dresses, swimsuits, short sets.  Really, really exciting.
Our local Red Hat chapter - The Late Bloomers decided on this "all-girls" trip.
It will be my first one, - and I can't wait!

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DEAR DIARY - DAY 2

Entire day at sea, beautiful.  Saw whales and dolphins.  Met the Captain today -- seems like a very nice man.

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DEAR DIARY - DAY 3

At the pool today.  Did some shuffleboard, hit golf balls off the deck. Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner.  Felt honored and had a wonderful time.  He is very attractive and attentive.
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DEAR DIARY - DAY 4
 Won $800.00 in the ship's casino.  Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin. Had a scrumptious meal complete with caviar and champagne.  He asked me to stay the night, but I declined.  Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband.

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DEAR DIARY - DAY 5

Pool again today. Got sunburned, and I went inside to drink at piano-bar, stayed there for rest of day.  Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks.
Really is quite charming.  Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night.  Again I declined.  He told me, if I did not let him have his way with me, he would sink the ship...  I was shocked.

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DEAR DIARY - DAY 6

Today I saved 2600 lives.
 Twice.

OUT LATE JOKE

A Police STOP at 2 AM An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night. The man replies, "I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late." The officer then asks, "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?" The man replies, "That would be my wife."