Funny Goat Farm

Not Hallmark Cards

The following are NOT Hallmark Cards:

So your daughter's a hooker
and it spoiled your day
Look at the bright side
it's really good pay!


You had your bladder removed
and you're on the mend
Here's a bouquet of flowers
and a box of Depends


Happy Vasectomy!
Hope you feel Zippy
Cause when I had mine
I got really Snippy

Hot Careers and Twinkiesfunny jokes, jobs, hot career, hot, stupid, good jobs, twinkies, junk food,

They said the TWINKIE is 85 years old today.

The one I had yesterday TASTED like it was 
85 years old!

I was looking for a job and I got a list of HOT Careers.   I don't want a career that is rewarding, solid, high paying or challenging.  My career must be HOT!  So I took the job as a BOILER CHEF and I'll tell you, It is HOT!

TRANS FAT

I have a new margerine with low TRANS FAT or as HARVEY Fierstein says, " You mean a FAT Trans or Tranny or How I Make ALL MY Money!!"  

Sunday Love

 Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away,
Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95
year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her
grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was justthe right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along.".