Meat Jeff Foxworthy

You know ladies, I'm more than a piece of meat!

I'm a piece of meat with some FEELINGS!

A Guy yelled at me and told me to

 "GO TO HELL"

I told him I Can't!

They have GLUTEN there!

I went to a terrible library the other day.

All they had in The Philosophy section were

Jeff Foxworthy Books.

Dollar hole Trump Orgy

I went to The Dollar Store and their cash registers were broken.  I said, "Well, maybe don't buy your cash registers at THE DOLLAR STORE!"

A young person asked me for advice on getting a new job.  I told them, "The best advice I can give you is you better ask someone else for advise!"

What does a Black Hole have in common with Donald Trump?  They both suck!

Where has my time gone?  Asked the man who lost his watch in an Orgy!

If you buy a bad Underwear Company, when it goes out of business, does that mean it went into ARREARS?

Rectal Aliens

I went to an Opthamologist and had a Rectal Exam on the same day,  I now know I have 20/20 Hindsight! 

I was abducted by female aliens.  They call it OUTERCOURSE!

I'm old.  I threw my Back Out while I was throwing my Shoulder Out!

Retouch Sissy Donor

CVS Pharmacy is banning any advertisements where Models 

are Retouched.  I was kicked off of the Subway once when I 

Re Touched myself!

It's odd Today.....  you can't call someone  A SISSY.

My Mother's name was SISSY!  

Then there's Sissy Spacek and

Sissy on " A Family Affair"

I love my wife for three reasons

Her mind, Her Heart and

Her Body.  

The Best Part.....She and I are the same blood type and I can 

Harvest an Organ if I need a Transplant!